This is me, almost 2 years ago. When I took these pictures I never would have considered posting them anywhere. I looked at myself and thought I was overweight and fat and I hated my body.
When I started my freshman year of college, I had just come off of an amazing senior year of…
MY FRIEND POSTED THIS ON FACEBOOK:
"I just need to lose 10lbs." "I’ll start that diet on Monday." "I’ll just do it one more time, then get back on the program tomorrow. "I’m just an emotional eater." "I’m on a cleanse." "After I lose 30lbs, I’ll start dating." "If I were thinner, I wouldn’t be single." "He wouldn’t drink so much if I weren’t so fat." "If I had better willpower, I wouldn’t be such a loser." "Why do I feel so alone?" "Why can’t I just stop eating (fill in the blank)?" "I just throw up sometimes when I eat too much sugar." "Is there something wrong with that?" "There’s nothing wrong with that." "You just need to go on a diet" "I’m fine." "I’m not upset." "I’m fine." "I’m fine." "I’m fine."
If you’ve heard it, said it, or thought it…consider backing Tchaiko Omawale's haunting coming of age film, SOLACE. I wasn't fine. I came from a broken home, suffered through an abusive marriage, and had dreams so big I was in constant fear of failure. My eating disorder was a coping mechanism I picked up as a child. It kept all the feelings about my emotional pain at bay. And it nearly killed me. Many times over. Literally. Nearly killed me.
SOLACE beautifully explores what it is like to be a teenager with feelings so big that you must stuff them down. As a teen, my eating disorder went undetected. As an adult, my eating disorder was hidden. I saw after school specials with super skinny white girls with eating disorders, and just decided I didn’t get to have what they had, or get the help that they got, because#BlackPeopleDont. Had I seen a film like this when I was a teenager, I can’t even imagine how different my life would’ve been. I backed SOLACE because I don’t want any other Black girl to destroy her body and soul because she doesn’t know she doesn’t have to stuff her feelings or purge her pain.